If Home is Where the Heart is, Maybe I Just Have Two
About six months ago I finally renewed my driver's license after about five months of carrying around my passport. I still renewed it in California though, and while waiting to to receive it in the mail everyone kept asking me why I didn't just get a state I.D. from an Illinois DMV, I don't drive in the city myself anyways, so why does it have to be a driver's license?
It's a fair question. I moved here about four years ago and transitioned to living here full time about two years ago. I spend all but maybe one month out of twelve in Chicago working, grocery shopping, writing, and yes, now occasionally driving-- it would make sense to change my residency (it might make getting a paycheck into my mailbox easier too). What I ended up saying is that I plan on going back in the future, that I like my health insurance (I'm not ready to give up a 24/7 advice nurse), that I have a guy who takes care of my taxes in California, but frankly I just don't like change very much and still consider it home.
But here's the kicker: so is Chicago. When I'm about to head back to California for Christmas, I say, "I'm going home of the holidays," and then when I'm about to return to Chicago, I say, "I'm coming home." There's no differentiation between the two, sentimentally for me. That's why it stays in any bio I have and how I introduce myself in casual conversations. It's just part of who I am and informs so much of how I move about it the world. It almost feels disingenuous not to mention it.
Oakland is where I learned to play guitar, where I went to school for k-12, where I learned to drive a car, met my best friends, drank beer in cemeteries, learned to drive, and lived with my family for almost two decades. It's where I went to shows and where I voted for the first time. It directs the style I use to make art, to write, to dress myself, and even the toothpaste I prefer (Tom's is always a well stocked necessity in the East Bay).
But Chicago has the one college and two degrees I stuck with, is where I make my art, where I protest, where I really learned to write, where I have new friends and bar tabs, where I sleep, clean, shop, and work. It's where I choose to spend eleven months out of the year.
I've found that I've gotten to a semi-rare point where I've finally reconciled the two and am perfectly happy in that in-between place where I strongly feel I have two homes. I say semi-rare because I don't see it very often. Most of my friends in Chicago either have been in the area since birth, while other transplants barely ever mention where they're from or have assimilated to to the point where I didn't even realize they weren't born and raised in here, changing phone numbers and residencies. But I still have a ring on my finger that says "(510)", and my number is still the same, but I've also got an address and and anchor that says this, Chicago, is the place.
I know that Cook County probably needs my vote more than Alameda County does, and that I still can't give directions to anyone here, but I could never do that in Oakland either. These are just two places the coat my entire being, vision, and my own biases in such a way that I couldn't possibly choose to give my full allegiance to one or another. And I think the people around me are starting to get that too.
At the end of the day, I guess I have two homes, and that's alright with me. but I'm still rooting for the Ravens when football season comes around. Sorry Raiders and 49ers, sorry Bears, it might not makes sense but here we are.
Are you a transplant? Do feel your loyalty is shared or are you all for one? Let me know in the comments!